Reduction Mammoplasty?

So over the past few months, it has been a lot of doctor’s appointments and trying to get to at least where I used to be as far as back pain and what not. Certain things have helped but other things have gotten worse. I am now at a point where I can cook and be on feet for longer than 10 minutes and not feel like my back is on fire. One of the downsides to my medical issues, is I have been getting more migraines and sadly, with my stomach I cannot take anything.

After meeting with my Primary Care doctor, we have decided that since surgery on spine can cause more harm than good that I should look into the option of Reduction Mammoplasty (aka breast reduction). After looking it to it more, my insurance will cover it due to my significant back problems.

I was able to get my referral I needed, and met with my plastic surgeon last week. The 15 minute consult turned out to be about an hour. I felt bad for those waiting, but I had a lot of questions and concerns. Surprisingly it is one of the least painful plastic surgeries out there, and even though I will be sore for a little bit, In the long run it will be worth it.

At this point, the doctor’s office is taking care of all the insurance hoops and what not, all I have to do is show up :) my pre-op appointment is currently scheduled for Tuesday April 26th and my surgery for Thursday April 28th. Hopefully since I am allergic to latex, it normally gives me a free pass for the 1st surgery to make sure everything is clean. Since my surgeon does not utilize drainage tubes (he said it doesn’t make a huge different with this surgery, and it will save additional scaring) he requires to make me stay in the hospital for monitoring at least the first day. They also told me to take 2 weeks off work. I personally do not think I will be out that long, so thankfully I talked with my boss into only making me take 1 week off work as long as I have medical release.

Back to Work Already?

After being on medical leave for 3 weeks, (no paycheck) I made the decision to go back to work. My Primary Care DR was not thrilled with the idea of this. She reluctantly signed the release papers for me and started back on January 3rd. it was very different having to go back. I noticed that the stress was not overly wonderful and I got exhausted super easy. My doctor ran some more tests, and looking back now, I had Mono at the same time. I would basically come home from work and sleep; I spent all weekend in bed trying to prepare for the next week. I basically stopped going out and hanging out with my friends, which was sad cause I really felt like I getting to a place here to maybe like living in Utah.

I know that, Heavenly Father gives us only what we can handle, some days are tougher than others. Like I have told many, it is one day at a time. Thankfully at this point (4 months later) I am getting to a point where I have more energy and can do more. I still struggle with food, and I will for a long time. I dream of a day when I can actually eat a salad and not feel like my insides are burning! When I can eat whole grains, fresh raw veggies, lemon-aide, spaghetti sauce, etc and not be in pain. Someday.

Odds and Ends, more Doctors....

So I have the back fracture, the disk disease and now the gastritis. In the middle of all of this, and the multiple CT Scans, MRI’s and X-rays, they found that my “simple cyst” on my right ovary, has now changed to a “Complex Cyst” and my doctor advised me that I needed to get that looked at right away.

After meeting with a new OB, they went ahead and gave me a PAP and put me back on birth control to see if that will help with all those pains and cyst issues. One week later I got a phone call from the doctor’s office and they told me my PAP came back with abnormalities and they wanted to do a colopscopy (or something like that). To be honest, when the nurse called to tell me, my brain stopped working when she used the phrase “Cervical Cancer”. They scheduled the procedure for two weeks out. They told me that it hurts, and they recommend that I take a pain reliever prior. Mind you, with the stomach issues, there is nothing I can take that will not put me back in the hospital.

The basic idea of this procedure is to open me up, and put a solution inside me and then the light will glow where there is concerning spot. When my doctor started, it freaked me out when he said “Awe, crap!” sorry, but when you are in a compromising position down there, with medical instruments, that is not something that I really want to hear. The worst case scenario, which happened, they decided to use my insides as a human whole punch. He starting snipping away, and when they say “little pinch” it is not a little pinch. That hurt! I honestly could not walk or sit for the two days!

I received the results about a week later (let me tell you, having to wait for a week to find out if you have the C-word or not is DEVISTATING!), and found out that it is only mild hiplasia, which is the pre-cancer cancer cells. Thankfully, I just have to go back in 6 months to check it out again. Hopefully all will be well, and I can forget about this.

Gasritis

So after the visit to the ER for the allergic reaction, my doctors put me on more meds to counter act. The Spinal doctor originally prescribed me Naproxen to help with the inflammation in my back. The dangers of this drug is not mixing any NSaids so no over the counter medication without doctor’s approval, no ibuprofen or Excedrin, nothing nada zip. If you forget to take with food, your body will cramp up. There are so many wonderful things to say about this one. The doctors figure that with the double dosage of steroids and the naproxen caused the next issue.
Almost a week later I just lost it at work. I was shaking and in so much pain, I decided to talk with my director and go out on medical leave. My Primary care doctor thought it was for the best as well, since the stress of the year end and peak season was not helping promote my healing process. The next morning, exactly a week to the day (from the last ER visit) I woke up with the worst stomach pain I have ever experienced. Words cannot describe this pain, all I know is that it was so bad I could not stand up straight, nor move that well. I hopped into the shower and made the decision to go to the hospital. I was extremely nauseous and I felt the pain was getting worse.

I was lucky to have the green light pass straight back to a room, no wait whatsoever. I had 3 nurses and a doctor working on me to get me set. After a CT scan to make sure it was not my appendix and lots of morphine later, they diagnosed me with Gastritis. Basically, my stomach lining is inflamed and there is room for concern of stomach ulcers or bleeding ulcers. They removed me from the naproxen and added a higher dosage of omeprazone, more Percocet and carafate. They also made me drink something called “GI Slider”; this is hands down the sickest thing I have ever drank! It consists of liquid lidocaine, Mylanta and Benadryl. It basically numbs the esophagus down to coat the stomach.

Once I was released, I met with my doctor the next day. We went over the FMLA and leave paperwork and plan of action to get better. At this point, I had cried so much and just was ready to be done with everything. I decided to make the trip home for Christmas a little bit earlier. I left the following day to head up to my parent’s house in Idaho. It was nice to take the 4 hours to just relax and go over everything in my mind. My parents agreed to help me out with my bills and give me a cabin to help me detox and get better.

Most doctors say that gastritis goes away in about 2 weeks. Once I came back to salt lake on the 27th, my doctor was concerned that my stomach was not getting better. Due to my financial issues, I decided to go back to work earlier than she would have wanted me to. She also referred me to Gastro doctor to see if they can find something else that could be wrong.

Spinal Specialist

Now, I am not going to name names of my specialist that I went to, as I really do not like him nor do I have anything positive to say about him…. After meeting with him, he referred me to get an MRI and I had to wait for the results. When I went in about a week later, I was “officially” diagnosed with Degenerative Disk Disease (triple D’s as I call it). In plain terms, essentially the disks in my spine are deteriorating and there is no real cure, just some meds that will help manage it, and steroid injects.

Hesitantly, I decided to try for the steroid injections along with all the other stuff he gave me. Basically, they go in with a digital x-ray machine and put long needles in your lower spin and inject a 3 different steroid concoction and inject it in. I have asked plenty of times what the meds were, but the doctor has yet to come clean about it.

I makes your legs go numb and feel like jello. I couldn’t walk overly well for the rest of the day. I went ahead and took the next day off work just to be safe in case I experienced any of the side effects they talked about. Thankfully my mom was with me. As we were leaving my friend Tiff’s house (I started staying there for awhile, she was great to help and less stairs. I still have flashbacks and get scared to come down from room sometimes!) And heading back to my place to grab some more clothes, all of a sudden my chest, neck and face got sweltering hot and broke out in this giant rash. Concerned, I called my doctor. He called me back about a half hour later. When he did call back, by then my face was swelling and I lost feeling in my toes. He told me to take some Benadryl and call my primary care doctor (yes, he is a REAL gem…) from that point on, I was on a regular dosage of Benadryl and everything else. Maybe it would be good to mention, this was also two days before thanksgiving!
Unless you have experienced a severe allergic reaction, it is tough to explain. My face ached. Another issue was with all the overload of steroids in my body, I could not sleep. I went 3 days that round without any sleep. Finally one night my friend gave me a special pill that was able to help my body relax enough to sleep.

Fast forward two weeks, I was scheduled for my 2nd round of injections. I spoke with my doctor, the nurse and medical assistant all about my concerns. My doctor told me that it was a ‘fluke’ that I had that side effect and said it was vital for my recovery to go through the 2nd round. He also told me to take Benadryl prior to the office visit to see if I can cut the reaction off at the pass. He also suggested that I go to the hospital if my throat starts to close up and not to even bother calling him.

Sure enough, that night I started to get the swelling, and by lunch the next day my throat was clothing up, face swelling like a chipmunk and the rash was spreading. My friend Brenda was so nice to take me to the hospital during lunch. They decided to give me prednisone, omeprazole and an inhaler. I have never had asthma so I had no idea how to use an actual inhaler, it was a learning experience. They also gave me a couple of breathing treatments to open my lungs up more and help me out.
So back to the whole steroid issues, and not being able to sleep, try taking a physical pill steroid along with what is going on in my body. It felt like my body was fighting against everything. Will all the meds and problems, it felt like I was slowly crashing. When I called my Spinal doctor with my concerns and asking for help with the sleeping issue, he basically told me “It’s not my problem, call your primary care physician”. To me, that basically translated to, that sucks, deal with it. (Again, I love Love LOVE that doctor).

Fast forward 1 month, I had to meet with him again to follow up the injections and how I was feeling. After I listed off ALL the issues, he took no responsibility for the problems, did not offer an apology or anything. He gave me back all my films and told me he could not help me. Let’s review, still have back pain, it has helped a little bit everything, but I feel like I am still back at square one.

Why hello stairs, nice to meet you!

So I know it has been far too long, and there is so much I need to get caught up on, but where to start is the problem. Let me at least start by filling you on what is happened as of recently. End of October, first Washington DC with my roommate Penny and her niece Mandy to catch the “Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally to restore sanity and/or keep fear alive”. That is another blog all together though…..
We got into town around midnight on Tuesday the 2nd, and thankfully I took Wednesday off to help recover (4200 miles in 6 days is a lot!). I was awoken early that morning with a call from my buddy from work and my best friend had an accident at work and long story short was rushed to the ER unconscious (she is doing better now, but still plenty of medical problems). I of course freaked out and raced out the door to be with her. After she was released I spent the day helping her and her family out.

When I FINALLY got home I went upstairs to change, and as I was at the top of the steps I don’t know what happened, but I lost my balance and fell down the stairs. I hit my head really hard, and when I finally landed at the bottom it took a few minutes to catch my breath. When I started to stand, I knew something was wrong. This pain was nothing like I had experienced! Seeing as how I took the last week off work, I could not call in, so I went to work anyways. After talking to my aunt, I scheduled a Chiropractor appointment for Thursday hoping they could fix me up and help me walk better. When he first started to examine me, I nearly jumped off the table with how horrible the pain was. From that I was referred to a digital x ray for Friday.

After being at work and having to sit, I began to feel like I cracked my tailbone or something. When I went to the x-ray place at lunch, the radiologist was concerned and could tell I was in true amounts of pain. He told me to make an appointment and get seen right away. At this point, 2 days without sleep was wearing on me. I called my Aunt and she suggested I go to the Insta Care and get seen. When I got there, the doctor told me he was amazed that I was even walking and tried to make me take an ambulance to IMC. I waived medical attention so I could drive myself. Thankfully my aunt and my best friend joined me. I was really scared.
After a long night (getting there at 6:20pm and not leaving until 3:30am) I finally had answers! From a previous accident they found that my T11 is in a “constant back fracture state” (this meaning I fractured in a prior accident, more than likely the Vegas car crash of 05 and it healed wrong and it re-fractured on impact), minor scoliosis in my T9-T10 section, multiple deep contusions and a cyst on my lower right lung. I was referred to a Spinal Specialist, and other doctors to make sure everything heals correctly and what not.

I ended up spending the night at my friend Tiff’s house, since I was in no shape to drive. Thankfully, she lives right next to the hospital so we left my car there. The next morning, I woke up and felt really sick (morphine and Percocet on and empty stomach, not such a good idea). When we were getting ready to leave, I started to feel really sick. Tiff’s husband took us to my car and she drove me to Smith’s to fill my prescriptions. As I walked in the store, I walked across the front registers to get to the pharmacy, I made it down 4 registers, and I was violently ill. Thankfully, I found a garbage can, but I still feel awkward going into that store, I only shop there and Winco! Tiff’s husband helped me limp back to my car, while she helped me with the rest. Talk about embarrassing!!!!!!

Weight Issues

So where to begin…. So a few months ago, the end of August/early September I started going to the gym almost every day if not every day. When I had first got on the scale to see my starting weight, I was taken back, I have been at a solid weight for years, and the number I saw was 50 pounds heavier than I thought I was at. Mind you I can hide my weight very well, yes I know I am fat, but if you knew the number you would not believe this is how I look. Even at my highest weight in high school (only 25 pounds heavier than I thought I was) I was 3 sizes larger. So it also scared me to see the number, because I have been wearing the same size for the last 4 years.
Over the past months, I have lost 38 pounds, it is not my ideal weight loss, but I also did not go for 2 ½ months in the middle and what not. I have still continued to eat what I have when I went to the gym as often it was just the extra added exercise I cut back on. On an average week when I do go to the gym 5 times, I loose about 4 pounds regularly which is healthy figure for my body type. Since starting the gym. The very few and far between nights that I am free, I am exhausted and want to go to bed early. I have also been under a lot of stress with my job and It has started to take a toll and me and my health.

Most of my closest friends and family know that I have a cyst, and her name is Helga. I hate her, she comes and bothers me unannounced, uninvited and brings lots of pain. I have also been having strong stomach pains the last few months. I finally got into a doctor to be seen and after getting on medicine to hopefully shrink Helga, and lots of blood work I was referred to a general physician. This past weekend I spent the long weekend in bed sick because somebody in my office so kindly gave me strep. I had the appointment set up a long time ago, so it all worked out getting antibiotics for my virus and getting checked out for the other problems. While there, she did some poking around and lab works and ordered me for an abdominal ultra sound.

This morning I had the joys of going to the new IHC Medical Center Hospital for the test. Words cannot describe how much pain I felt! The tech when he got next to my gallbladder, I fought back tears from the pain. When he turned me on the side to get better pictures, he finally asked “Does that Hurt?” When he asked it was discomfort, but the next place he moved it I screamed! He then told me “Unofficially, off the record, you do have lots of small gallstones”. Oh what fun! Now I have to wait until my Doctor “officially” calls me tomorrow to tell me the results so we can go over options. After discussion with those close to me and people who have had theirs removed, I think I am opting for the removal of my gallbladder. I guess I will find out tomorrow the plan of attack and see where this goes.

Thinking back, this is probably related to my rapid weight gain, and the tougher time taking it off. After research, the gallbladder is an organ that is nice to have but generally removed if problems occur, just like with your appendix. The main function is to take complex carbs, cholesterol, etc and break them up for your body to digest easier. The worst I have heard people say, is that sometimes there are certain foods that is harder for your body to digest, but for the most part it is the better option. I guess we see and I will try to blog about this more when I have a free second.

Life Changes!!!!

So for anybody that really truly knows me, my heart belongs to the Northwest! I love everything about it, the Rain, the Trees, the Friends, The People, even the crazy awesome Hippie’s! I have been living here in Utah for a little over 3 years now, and some days it feels like a lifetime! I decided to move here to be closer to family and I felt a prompting to be here. Mind you, this is the longest time I have been away from the PNW, and it is killing me inside! I have a tendency to pick up and move at the drop of a pin, and that was why I had promised my mom that I would live in Utah at least 2 years. I have given it enough time, and it is time to close this chapter in my life I’m afraid.


My friend that I used to work with at my previous employer prior to being laid off, is also working in the same office again with me (thank you to a wonderful referral bonus :) She has been trying to get hired on with a police department and utilize her military background and criminal justice degree. She has gotten through the initial screening of Tacoma PD, and has been asked to come test for them. The process all in all will take roughly 4 months. She is going up the last weekend in March for the BIG test, I would love to join her on a weekend getaway, however I will be in Myrtle Beach with my mom for her Christmas present, yes a 9 day vacation to the east coast, and we are both counting down the days!

Anyway, she is really excited and hopes she gets this job. She has applied for Las Vegas, King County (Seattle), Pierce County (Tacoma) and Portland PD. I have lived in all of those places, and I would move with her to every place except Las Vegas (been there, done that….). The likelihood of her taking Tacoma is very likely, and I excited to say I will more than likely move with her! We were looking at houses today, and found great rent for really cheap and by the waterfront. One in particular is in Gig Harbor, where I grew up until I was 10 and misses so very much!

The best parts will be, being back home in the land that I love, Being close to family I do not get to see very often, a 2 hour drive back to Vancouver/Portland so I can visit more frequently on the weekends, my friends who I miss and care for deeply, the beach, the weather (I am the happiest when it rains) and the city life I miss. Of course there are some sad things, but I can live my life the way I want to, and be closer to those that helped raise me. I will miss my aunts and uncles that I have grown closer to, but I knew in the beginning that Utah was never my permanent home. And even by some crazy miracle that I did ever get married here in Utah, I could never see myself raising a family here.


Either way, I have been thinking very strongly about this move since my most amazing trip back home to Vancouver in October courtesy of the Jacksons. I was sitting the airport waiting for my plane that was delayed and I could not contain my great sadness in saying goodbye to those I care about. So many people helped raise me and make me who I am today that I lost full and utter control when I had say goodbye and leave. Not to mention everything the Jackson’s have done for me and how amazing their family is, it is strange to think the oldest son is already 12, I CHANGED HIS DIAPERS!!!!!

Anyway, I am excited thus far where this year has taken me. Things to look forward to this year (in no particular order) Starting my new business (Pampered Chef), a dating life again (yes, it’s been awhile since I have felt comfortable to get out there again), New friends and old, Trip to the east coast in March/April (adding 7 states to my list), Trip to Chicago in July, Moving back to the NW, great roommates, and last but certainly not least a new nephew in April! So far, GREAT New Year and decade!

Life's New Adventures

So I have decided to something special with whatever little free time I have. Last Friday night I went up to Centerville to see a really close friend who recently was married. It was great, and mostly because it was a girls (well almost) since her husband was out of town on business. Her co-worker was having a Pampered Chef party and she had to go. I have LOVED going to them since I was about 10 years old! That was when everything just clicked!

As of this Friday, I will officially be the newest Pampered Chef consultant! I am super excited!!! I have always thought it would be fun to sell, but just never really given it much thought! I am not the type of person who likes to sell stuff, and especially if I do not believe in it. I know I worked at Best Buy for many years, but the beauty was that I did not have to sell stuff unless I wanted to. And I know everybody and the sun pretty much sells Avon, Mary Kay, Scentsy, etc, but I really do think this is going to be amazing!

So since I am now going to be selling these products on the side, there are tons of perks, and I excited to hit the ground running! If you Host a show (an actual party or even just a catalog party) in my first month of signing up, you get a free extra Host gift. You will also get the Host gift for the month we are in, free products, up to 60% off other products and anytime you want to order something for the next 12 months an additional 10% off! Pampered chef also comes with a Lifetime Warranty on most of their products and some of your older products that may have been broken or not working properly we have replacement parts.

One thing that I have learned starting training, is that most, well 80% of all the products are under $20. The average family eats out at least 3-4 times a week because they don’t have “time”. Well that is what I love about the Deep Dish Baker, is that you can make a healthy meal in less than 20 minutes!

We made Chicken Fajita’s in the microwave! Yes, the Microwave! I know, microwave chicken sounds dirty, and I would not have believed this If I had not seen it myself! We sliced fresh onions, red and green bell peppers, place chicken and rubbed it with Chipotle Rub and cooked it for 15 minutes. Because of the stoneware and the way it cooks, the chicken came out super juicy and tasty! Not only that, we checked it with the thermometer to make sure it was done fully, and when we put it back in for a few minutes, it did not lose any flavor! In less than 20 minutes we made chicken, fresh salsa and guacamole! It was a healthy meal and way cheaper than going out to a restaurant to buy it.

Until I get my website up and running, please email me at amber.coonce@gmail.com to either look at becoming a consultant, hosting a party or if you just want to buy products.

Plane's Trains and Automobiles- **BEST Christmas EVER***

So I haven’t had a really great Christmas in awhile, and I have grown accustom to spending the morning with my family and then being alone the majority of the day. This year I had plans with my awesome roommate to spend the afternoon eating a Ham Feast and watching a Jane Austin marathon equipped with our 2nd annual showing of Pride and Prejudice! On Monday when I got a message from my mom that our plans where changing because my Dad was joining us, I was a little sad and may or may not have thrown a minor temper tantrum…..

On Christmas Eve we have a family tradition of having a Mexican Fiesta dinner with all the family. As I was in the kitchen of my aunts getting dinner ready, in walked what looked like a homeless man. As my Aunt went to yell at who that was just walking into the house, I did a double take and it was my brother! He just got out of Iraq on his second tour and was supposed to be backpacking Europe with his Girlfriend. The shock and awe of it all, still feels surreal! We have not shared a Christmas together in 5 years, and it meant a lot that he would go through so much planning and sceaming to pull this off.

Cody also brought his girlfriend with him, and I heart her! She is SO adorable, and is the perfect addition to the family! She is a school teacher up in Olympia Washington and makes Cody happy which in turns makes us all happy. I really hope it works out, I would love a Sister  It was quite comical trying to figure out what to get both of them for Christmas when they left to go back to their hotel, when everything closes early!

Christmas morning was great, I surprised my mom with plane tickets for her and me to go to Myrtle Beach, SC to visit our wonderful Aunt Millie. We leave March 25th and come back April 4th. I cannot wait! I have been planning this trip for over 6 months and it was the hardest secret to keep from my mom, EVER! She was not really sure if it was for real or not and she did not pick up the hints very well…. I think after it set in, she is getting more and more exciting! We have a 5 hour layover at JFK on the way there, then will fly into Raleigh, NC, rent a car and drive to the beach. We have not worked out all the details, but we are planning on going up to Richmond to see our other Aunt and hopefully up to Washington DC for the Cherry Blossom festival and Baltimore. It will be a much needed vacation and trust me, we are counting down the days!

We spent all day Saturday as a family and then went to breakfast Sunday morning before my parents and Cody took off on their separate directions. It is always tough to say goodbye, but I am truly grateful for my brother present of coming home. It was a wonderful surprise and some great memories were made. Even though we were forced into watching the 24 hours of a Christmas Story Marathon…. It was a LONG day.

Yes, I am Alive :)

What a crazy past 6 month! I know I have been spacey and have not updated this in FOREVER! So here is the *quick* rundown…. I was unemployed for thankfully only 10 days when I landed a job and started within 3 weeks of the initial layoff. I work for First American in the Real Estate Tax Office located in Murray Utah. I enjoy most days, I work a lot and hopefully it is paying off.

Just 3 days outside of the training I was offered the position to be the Auditor over the Customer Research department. Basically if you are on an escrow mortgage account, our company contracts with 16 major mortgage companies (except Wells Fargo, WATCH OUT ;) and our office will pay your property taxes. So if you have any issues with your property taxes or what not, you call into your bank and in turn the bank will send off issues that need to be researched to my department. My job is to have people on my team work the “tasks” and they submit it to Audit and I have to either approve or deny them, and close out on the Lender’s side. I stare at hundreds of loans all day, work close to 60 hours a week, and love most days. Other than work, you can find me at the gym most days after work, I have gotten into nice routine and it is strange when I miss it J

In October I was given the best thing ever! The wonderful Jackson’s flew me out too Portland to hang out for a few days and watch their munchkins while Jon and Nicole went to Mexico for a week. Sadly I could not get that much time off, but I cherished every minute of it! We had a Thai food night, had some crazy experiences at an overpriced pumpkin patch, went to a “hoedown” and saw the cutest 5 year old perform in a children program. I learned how crazy teenagers are (sorry if I was ever like that growing up :) and we also made a haunted gingerbread house! I was great to catch up with people and see some old friends. I learned that even though years pass by, certain things never change…. I also decided that 2010 is the year to move back to the NW. I have some serious things to figure out, but I really want to get out of Utah, I think it is time.

November was Thanksgiving, and I spent the holiday with my best friend Cheryl and her family. It was fun and enjoyable. I spent Turkey day there 2 years ago, it is becoming the tradition of every other year I think. It was nice to have my mom come to, and things went really well. My mom and then enjoyed getting up at 2:15 am to hit the sales, I then had to work 9 hours. Longest day ever, but I got some GREAT deals and got through almost all of my Christmas shopping in those two days.

December came and is almost gone. I don’t really know what happened or where it went, but all in all it has been a busy few months and I am shocked this year has come to an end. This year entailed a lot of firsts and never agains! I will try to keep this updated more often, but I can’t make any promises!

My Curent Situation...

I'm not sure how to really start out this post. Its been a rough and busy few months, and needless to say I will now have too much time on my hands to update my blogs. I am just going to rip it off like a band-aid and say it.... I was layed off. This time it was, your being layed off, no other job, here is your severence check, get the heck out! What hurt was the way they did it, and too so many! There where 22 of us, they kept 6 total to run the company.

One thing that upset me, was that Ted they guy who broke the news, blamed it on the Obama administration. Last time I checked the "crisis" began with bad choices from a previous administration. It is not Obama's fault that they could not run a company the right way and have had various investors pull back. Another thing that made me laugh was that one of their asset managers actually lost a house in tax auction for a $5000 water lien. How is that dumb enough to loose a property, especially not find out for over a month. Poor managing is what got them into this mess, I predict they will only be around through summer, if even that long!

What also frustrates me is the factor that the person they kept, has zero work ethics, kiss too much rear end and I did twice as much work as him with fewer client kickbacks! I have always taken pride in my work, and the factor that I refuse to suck up to anybody. I guess what happened happened, and how I handle it can only make me stronger. This is a hidden blessing, and everything will work its way out in the end.

One thing to be grateful for is unemployment. I have never really believed in it, nor did I ever see myself in a position where I would need it. I have always been independent and have prided myself with that ability. The first thing I did when I got home was filed, thankfully with all of my deductions, I am coming out fairly even and making roughly the same wages, for 18 weeks. Not that I plan on being jobless that long, but to know if I need it, its there.

Right now I am up in island park trying to clear my head. I figured I would take a few days to myself. Its nice to away from the city and relax. I met with the executive chef of a local restaurant, Trout Hunter. He offered me a job and a breakfast/pastry chef. It would be a dollar less an hour, but I still run into the problem of when the summer season ends, I will still need a job in salt lake area.

I guess only one person knows where my life is headed, and I will be excited to see where it leads me. I would also like to thank anybody and everybody who has helped me during this trial!

Cody's Coming To Town!!!

So I know I have been super busy lately with my new job, and I will eventually find time to post soon (who would have thought I would actually have to work now?!), promise! But I did just want to say how excited I am, because my brother Cody is on leave from Iraq and will be flying into Salt Lake in the morning, just until wed morning. Still better than nothing and I can't wait to spend time with him, I love him so much!!!

Seattle Trip Day 1

* pictures to come soon.


What an intersting day. It is surreal to be sitting in my Grandma and Aunt's house, and my Aunt not be here... I thought I would be okay, since I have given myself the last few days to come to terms, but its still a struggle.

This morning our flight left Salt Lake at 9:45am, but since we needed to check in Roni's baby stuff we got there at like 7:30. We thought security would be a breeze, for me it was. However Margie had a different experience. She had a birthday on Monday, and it happened to be the same year her drivers licence expired. She had a temporary one she printed off online, but that and the factor of her wrist cast weighed in, it created an issue. I captured a picture of her getting the "royal treatment". She was a good sport, I have been there and done that before!

The flight was full, so I cuddled with my mom, and my uncles and aunt say behind us. Thankfully we got the front row, so there was an extra few feet of leg room! I gate being tall sometimes... Once we finally landed and got the luggage, we tried to find our rental car. That was yet another experience on our own. There where issues with shuttle, and my mom and I ended up waiting back while the others went to get the paperwork started. They crammed 10 of us into a van that say 7! The driver was a maniac, he ran lights, no seatbelt, texting and when he would stop it was in the middle of the intersection! I thought I was going to die!

After we got the rentals, we made our way to Gig Harbor. I lived there for 8 years, and that is one of two places I call home (the other of course Vancouver). Everything has expanded and it was strange to see some of it. You can tell that it is one of THE places to live now. We met my Grandma and our two aunts for lunch at my favorite place for lunch. We have been eating at Moctazumas since they first opened in the early 90's. The food was better than I remembered! It was a wonderful experience to just be with the family!

After lunch we kidnapped my Aunt Millie and drove through the town, and by our old house. It looked as cute as I remembered, and made me think of the awesome times we had! We also drove through downtown and the water front. I did see the coolest thing ever, inside the Key Bank, they had a Starbucks! On in Seattle...

We spent the majority of the day just with the family and remembering the good times we shard with Aunt Evy. Friends of Grandma's came and brought dinner over, and while John and Margie where checking into their hotel, Millie, Mom and I went for a walk to Safeway. It was glorious to be out in the fresh air, and smell nature! First thing Millie went to, was the Wine section. I forget how large of a selection they have up here in stores! We found some interesting names, and she decided on mini merlot bottles (mostly to hide it from her sisters! Easier than big bottles). We also found some nice veggie/fruit platters and some chocolate. What a great combination!

On the walk back, my Uncle John and Aunt Margie ended up picking us up. Another family friend came over and chatted while we ate dinner, and shared more memories. I know deep in my heart that Evy's passing was for the better and it was a good thing. She had lost her Husband to cancer 25 years prior, and when they declared what caused her death it was because her cancer came back. My aunt suffered a lot, including being in a wheelchair the majority of her life. She beat cancer once before, but this time it came back and when they finally found out, it spread to too many organs. She lived a full life, and I know she is happy again, so I should be too.

Tomorrow is the funeral, and possibly a surprise ferry ride to Seattle and back for no reason, other than I simply LOVE ferry rides!

I will miss you Aunt Evy!!!

There are certain people in ones life, that changes things for the better. Mine was essentially my Grandparents. Most know my grandfather past away nearly 3 years ago and "technically" my real grandmother is still alive. I say this because my grandmother has never really been a big piece of my life, we do not see eye to eye and I'm definitely not close to her. She did have a twin sister though, and her name was Evy, she was wheelchair bound and more of a grandmother to me than anyone else in my family. "technically" being my aunt, she had been sick for a long time now and has been needing assistance.

This morning I received a phone call from my mother telling me she had past away. Instantly my heart sank. She was such a caring and loving person. She was somebody I always felt safe to go to and talk to. She always opened her heart to those around her and was always giving. Her husband past away years ago (I honestly do not remember him, I was just a baby), and she had a daughter and two grandsons. I can honestly say they always treated her badly and walked all over her. Evy had so much to give, and even though she was bound by a wheelchair, she always eager and on the go when I was younger.

Its been over two years since I have seen her, and I feel horrible that I did not get to say goodbye. She will be missed, and I know deep down she is in a better place and is happy to be reunited with the loved ones she lost.

A special thanks to my Aunt and Uncle who are helping me get out to the funeral. I just got my itinerary, and I fly out early Thursday morning and come back Saturday mid day. Its gonna be a short trip, but well worth it. A sad way to see my family again, but it will also be nice to be away for a few days. Now I just have to tell my boss I won't be there next week...

Bittersweet Emotion...

Bitter sweet sorrow awaits me. This past week has been a crazy roller coaster of emotions this week, and I hope I can keep myself together the rest of the day. Last Friday I felt as though I had been thrown under the bus essentially again (4th time really) at work. They decided to transfer my friend to another company, our sister company Brighton. They do the same thing, but different office and technically not us, but they secretly are. They put her in Accounting and decided to take the office snob as well and put her in Closing Docs. I have been here longer and have more responsibilities and catch on faster.

I was hurt and upset with how things went down, and a lot of other things. When I forced to “share” my feelings with both of my bosses it was difficult. I was told that taking the snob over that it was not there choice and she “supposedly” has experience, however it turned out after the fact she lied and doesn’t. The accounting job I have too much experience for and it is brain dead work. I like a challenge and to learn new things and I wish I was given the opportunity! In stead the rumor I herd came true, and they are getting rid of my department this afternoon. Essentially I was laid off, but they are giving me a job with Main Street Valuations. They just moved back into our office on Monday, so really I am just moving up out of the basement and near a window.

I find this interesting though… I have been employed in the same office sine May 15th, 2008. However this will be my “technically” third company I have worked for, for tax purposes. I really would like to get through a year without having to redo my hr paperwork here!

My new job I will be doing BPO orders and quality control. I have helped them out in the past, and it is easy to me yet challenging sometimes, just different. I have gotten used to the turnover in my department, and enjoy sitting on my own half of the office. I like being able to work by myself and not having to “people please”, now I am moving out of my comfort zone into a busier more open office. I hate to say it but I do feel claustrophobic sometimes, and my new cubicle is out in the open (even though I do a have wall next to me).

I have had some great times in my office over the past 11 months. I like the close knit group and with the exception of one, I heart everybody! We would have lots of times where we just be laughing and having a good time, back when work was a joy to come into. I am not sure how I feel about this now. I have a tough time coming out of my comfort zone and meeting new people. From the image I have gotten the past week of them, I don’t really like them… our work ethics are completely different, and I hope the transition goes well!

Happy Birthday Roni!

Happy 1st Birthday Veronica Julie Capell (aka Roni)!!! On Friday March 27th, marked the one year Birthday, we celebrated on Sunday night with the family! She has been through a lot this past year, but she is so adorable and a spoiled trooper!
On Saturday I went to my Aunt Amber’s little sister Sera’s Baby shower (she is due June 10th with her first baby, and of course it’s a girl!), and took the most adorable picture of Roni playing on the floor with her toys. She loves to kiss thing, and she was playing with one of her cousins on the floor, he I think was 8 months, and she would lean over with her lips puckered to kiss him! It was by far the cutest thing ever!
On Sunday when we went down for the Birthday Party, she was so playful and loved all the attention! When the time came for her Birthday cupcakes, she had a little problem blowing out the candles (then again what one year old can?). When they got the paper out from around the cupcake, she just shoved it in her face! For like 3 minutes, all you could see was her with her a giant pink cupcake shoved in her face. When Aunt Kimmie pulled down her hands, you could see frosting everywhere! That little baby ate the entire thing! She even sucked her fingers (she never does that!) and was mad when Kimmie tried to clean her up! She found frosting under the multiple chins, and up by her ears!Then they moved to presents! She was completely spoiled and was enjoying the unwrapping part! Aunt Sera reused one of the giant bags from her baby shower the day before, so Roni actually got inside it! She just barely had her head sticking out of it! All in all it was nice to be able to spend time with family members and those who I don’t get to see to often!

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

* This picture is of my baby cousin Veronica Julie Capell (aka "Roni") and my Grandpa's hard hat. I think its adorable!

There is one person who has been in my life, whom a day does not go by and I think about. This person is my Grandfather. I have so many fond memories of him, he was such a caring person who always out other first. He was sick for such a long time, yet he never complained and still continued to put others first. Today marks his birthday, and even though June 16th will be three years since he past, it still feels like yesterday. I remember when I was younger and spending the summers on the farm in Idaho. He would always make sure the 4 wheelers where up and running so Cody and I would have some fun adventures. I still remember the last conversation I had with him, and when I knew it was goodbye. I wait for the day when I will see him again. I miss you Grandpa, happy birthday!

"Stop-Loss"...

If I where to count all my fingers and toes, I would still run out of space for why I heart President Obama so much! Last night topped it all, and I was trying not to cry lying in bed about to fall asleep. Yesterday Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced they where putting an end to “Stop-Loss”. For any of you that may not be familiar with military terminology ‘Stop-Loss’ is also known as a backdoor draft in sense where when a person enlists in the military, they may only sign up to serve four years, but technically in a legal aspect they are enlisted for eight years. The military has a “right” to force you into active duty for the four years after you are done and can send back to active combat duty at anytime.

There has been lots of controversy over this, and as of January studies have shown that 13,200 soldiers who are serving in the war, have all been issued a ‘Stop-Loss’. With Gate’s announcing this new turn of events, they will start pulling back as soon as the beginning of August. They will reduce by 50% as of June of 2010, and by March 2011 there will be no more serving.

During a Pentagon briefing yesterday, Gate’s (who has been fighting for this to end since 2006) said “I believe that when somebody's end date of service comes, to hold them against their will, if you will, is just not the right thing to do... I felt, particularly in these numbers, that it was breaking faith." I personally, 100% agree with this statement, since it really is breaking the faith as a nation! Every single solider that has enlisted, did it out of their willingness to sacrifice their own life. I herd somewhere, “they signed a blank check that was payable up to and including life.” What hope and faith our we sending to them out there when we say thank you for serving your country for four years, but we need you to experience and witness the unthinkable again for another four years?

All I can say now is, THANK YOU! Thank you for giving all of my friends who are serving out there hope again. To know that I wont have to worry about their second or third deployment if they will not come back again. I think this is a huge step in the right direction into gaining hope again for those men and woman who have given so much already. We can begin the process again of healing, and trying to fix what a previous “person” has done …

A Leader Who Actually Leads!

In my normal everyday boredom at work, I usually like to catch up on the world news and spend a large portion of my day on http://www.cnn.com/ and http://www.huffingtonpost.com/. These two websites seem to quench my thirst for news today, and keep me up to date with things happening in the world today. With being LDS, I understand that most members seem to support the Republicans and are more conservative than most. However, I on the other hand seem to be more Liberal and vote the Democratic way. I have never hidden the factor that I am an Obama supporter, and I am proud to call him President.

Talking to some of my friends over the past few months that do tend to stay on the Republican realm of things, I feel shut down at the news around them and do not see the good in what is going on since Obama has taken office. I personally feel a lot have not really opened their minds and hearts to hear him out, and to know that what he says he backs up as a person.

Yesterday when I pulled up my trusty Huffington Post, I was upset and proud at the same time to see the front headlines be about Obama upset with AIG about the bonus’s being given with the bailout fund. I am a hardworking citizen, I do not agree with certain aspects of the bailout with my tax payer’s money, however I was excited that someone finally acknowledged what was going on! From day one, I have herd Obama say nothing but the fact that the day of golden parachutes are over. That the CEO’s of these major banking institutions that ran their own company into the ground would not be compensated with large bonuses and raises anymore. That is exactly what he is doing, and I happy he is going after AIG finally! I do not want to pay some millionaire a huge bonus with my taxes when I can sometimes barely make my ends meet alone!

On CNN this morning (which not sure if most of you know is a predominately conservative news reporting channel) Jeff Cafferty, said it perfectly in his Commentary Titled: Obama a Leader Who Actually Leads. Here is his article:

NEW YORK (CNN) -- What a welcome change to feel like someone is running the country instead of running it into the ground.

President Obama has done more in eight weeks than George W. Bush did in eight years -- unless you include starting a couple of wars.

While the armchair quarterbacks second guess the new president, he gets up every day and does things, lots of things.

Whether it's creating commissions for women and girls, ordering the investigation of President Bush's use of signing statements, or jamming a huge stimulus package through Congress, the man is working his tail off. And he seems to be loving every minute of it. It's almost as though our president was born to do exactly what he's doing. He's leading, and boy, is that refreshing.

I remember many times when Bush was in office wondering who the hell was running the country. Then he would appear somewhere in front of a handpicked audience to utter some banalities or say something utterly stupid and I would be reminded. I don't miss him.

That's not to say President Obama hasn't stubbed his toe here and there. Signing that omnibus spending bill with all those earmarks in it after campaigning so hard against pork was probably a mistake. The opportunity was right there to send that bill back to Congress with a note that read, "I told you I am against earmarks and I meant it. Now do it over and send me something clean." Nancy Pelosi's head would have probably exploded, but the American people would have been ready to crown him king.

There are serious questions about whether Tim Geithner has what it takes to solve the banking crisis. Either nationalize the big ones in trouble or let them fail. It doesn't seem that just continuing to hand them money is working.

Better background checks on some of his appointees would have saved him some embarrassment. There's no excuse for asking someone like Tom Daschle with his problems to do anything.

But the point, I guess, is this: President Obama is attacking our country's problems on several fronts. He's got ambitious ideas on how to solve them, and he communicates a sense of calm and confidence to the rest of us as he goes about his business. Will all his ideas work? Of course not. But if you throw enough stuff at the wall, some of it will stick.
And at least I don't go to bed at night worried that I'll wake up in the morning to find out we're about to invade someone.

I do not think he could have said it any better! For those of you out there that may have voted towards McCain, or other. For those that may be stubborn to hear out President Obama and what he has to say, please open your hearts and your mind to what is going on! Give him an honest chance and you will see he is a man of his word, who sticks up for what he believes, and does not beat around the bush or lie about what is really going on. He never once said this depression was going to be easy, he is not sugar coating anything!