All at once... Understanding in a car crash

In the words of Pete Yorn, “Every now and then I get like this. And it isn’t hard to see. That the old man in the kitchen, I think he is part of me. Don’t think nothing about the old house, cause I burned it to the ground. And when the darkness comes I lie awake… Playing lost and found.” Nobody says it better than him… But why does it always come down to this? Why is it that when it gets this rough I push people away? I was always told to not show emotions, don’t let people know, but times have changed and I just seems to get worse and worse the more I bottle it up inside!

This week seems to be like a nightmare. More and more things keep happening and I wonder why me? When is it going to stop? Why can’t I breathe and just escape the world around me. Just for one day to be and feel free? I want to scream at the top of my lungs and try to heal and get past everything, but I am stuck in my office right now. Going insane, wracking my brain to try to figure this out.

"Understanding In A Car Crash" by Thrice

Splintered piece of glass falls, in the seat, gets caught
These broken windows, open locks, reminders of the youth we lost
In trying so hard to look away from you
we followed white lines to the sunset
I crash my car everyday the same way Time to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins. (it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender The broken watch you gave me turns into a compass
It's two hands still point to the same time 12:03, our last goodbye So push the seats back a little further
I can see the headlights coming
So push the seats back a little further
Roll the windows down and take a breath
I can see the headlights coming
They paint the world in red and broken glassTime to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins. (it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender The spinning hubcaps set the tempo, for the music of the broken window
The Cameras on and the cameras click
We open up the lens and can't stopStaring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage doneI don't want to feel this way forever The lights are on and the cameras click
We open up the lens (to broken glass!)Staring at the setting sun (And it's over!)
No reason to come back again (In a flash!)
The twilight world in blue and white (and I'll never!)
The needle and the damage done (ever understand!)I don't want to feel this way forever (Understanding!)
(In a Car Crash!) A dead letter marked return to sender (In a Car Crash!)
(In a Crash!) In a Crash!


Will this feeling ever go away? When is it my turn to finally be happy?!? Haven't I suffered and been though enough yet?